sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
