I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
