i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
