I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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