come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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