fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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