I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
