I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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