I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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