I just made out with a guy for $7.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
And then he peed in my hair
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