the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
