I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize