If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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