Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
