My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Is Oprah even human
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
