He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize