why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
