lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
We are two peas in an std pod
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Randomize
