his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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