Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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