So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
