she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
