your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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