I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
