a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
