So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
A+ Viking dick
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
