Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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