Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
My vagina just recognized that song.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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