2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
dude. I can hear the air.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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