Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize