There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
