WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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