i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Come share oat with me in your robe
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
