I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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