I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
