Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
