You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
