if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
