No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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