remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
3pm strippers are depressing
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
