Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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