It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
