I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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