Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
You smell like stripper and shame
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I just found puke in my bra..
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
