So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Randomize
