i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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