There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
