He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I'm both gender and math confused
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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