Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
