they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
