Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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