"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Sext me about skeletons
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
