so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I'm too high and old for this...
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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