I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
