apparently the secret to your success is patron
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
