It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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