So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
