I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
