So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
